Prime Time, Rules Overtime
by Wheeliefan101
Summary: All you need to know about how to survive with giant autonomus robotic organisms (AKA Autobots). What not to say, things that are banned, and how to potentialy live with out getting underfoot and going...squish (I hope the Autobots watch where they're going). And remember, no matter what, DON'T PANIC! YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE! LIVE, YOU HEAR ME! LIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEE!
1. Chapter 1

**Oh yeah! I'm back with more! NRJ helped me with some of these but right now Im too lazy to list them...(i no own TF or make this for harm)**

**#1 RAF IS NOT TO BE CALLED A NERD, GEEK, OR ANYTHING RELATED**  
I made the mistake of calling him a geek on the battlefield  
I said in a sing songy voice, and this is a direct quote, "I found the geek!~"  
Unfortunately, a certain scout heard me  
Bumblebee's scary when he's mad  
I barely dodged his shots  
And his foot

**#2 DON'T ASK ARCEE WHY SHE'S THE ONLY FEMME (BESIDES ARCHNID)**  
Very touchy subject  
She growled at me and warned me not to bring it up again  
I made the mistake of asking why  
She shot at me  
There's now a big scorch mark on the wall  
Ratchet is not happy

**#3 DON'T STICK AROUND IF RATCHET ASKS YOU IF YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH YOUR HOMEWORK**  
Back away s-l-o-w-l-y  
Then scream and run towards the closest 'bot  
Your grades will thank you

**#4 DON'T PLAY ANY SMALL HANDHELD VIDEO GAME DEVICES AT BASE**  
I started yelling at my DSI when the atrtifical intellegence began beating me  
Ratchet thought it was a 'con and sliced it in half

**#5 ICE CREAM IS NO BANNED FROM BASE**  
My sweet vanilla ice cream waffle cones :(  
I was eating it and it flew out of my fingers  
It landed on Bulkhead  
He screamed about scraplets and starting shooting randomly  
It got in his gears and he couldn't transform for a week  
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BAN IT?! WHY?!  
(I seruiously had an emotional breakdown after this rule was set)

**#6 DON'T TELL BULKHEAD THERE IS A LITTLEST PET SHOP MARATHON**  
He really likes that show  
Hasn't missed an episode yet  
He will run over you/a 'bot/whatever else stands in his way to get to it  
Jack nearly turned into roadkill

**#7 NEVER GIVE AN AUTOBOT A HIGH-FIVE**  
I tried it with Bumblebee  
My hand bone shattered  
Ratchet is a horrible human doctor

**#8 NEVER PLAY "ROCKING AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE" WHEN SMOKESCREEN IS AROUND**  
He will join in  
And he is a HORRIBLE singer  
He sent fifty car alarms off  
...in the other country

**#9 RATCHET IS THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO USE THE GROUNDBRIDGE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE**  
I was kinda messin' around with it  
Then the 'bots went through the groundbridge  
I think they ended up somewhere in Detroit...

**#10 LASERBEAK IS NOT ORAGAMI**  
I was on the battlefiled and Soundwave sent Laserbeak after me  
This was my first encounter with Laserbeak  
I said, "Hey, look! Soundwave does oragami!"  
I threw water on Laserbeak so he couldn't fly  
Didn't work  
Soundwave and Laserbeak are MAD 

**R&R and Soundwave will make you oragami cookie! :3**


	2. Chapter 2

**~Dun dun dun!~**

**I'm back!**

**And thank you to all the people who reviewed! You can has energon cheeseburger!**

**In response to the reviews**

**Kara-Kana: Aw, thank you. :3 I'm glad this is so adorable ;D**

**Autobotgirl2234: Yay! Person finds it great! ^_^**

**KHGiggle: Yes. Yes it was ;D**

**Anyway, ONWARD!**

* * *

**#11 DON'T ASK IF BULKHEAD HAS A GIRLFRIEND**  
He said he did:  
Fluttershy  
I don't—I just don't even wanna know...  
(The worst part is that I think it's true)

**#12 NO CONFUSING M.E.C.H. WITH MECH**  
It was an innocent mistake  
Optimus and Ratchet were talking about M.E.C.H.  
I asked, "Wait, isn't M.E.C.H. what a male Cybertronian is?"  
They both stopped and stared at me  
They have a very PIERCING stare  
It was uncomfortable under their optics' glare  
Ratchet then gave me a LOOOOOOOOOONG lecture about the differences  
I still didn't understand a word he said

**#13 NO MAKING FACES AT THE FROZEN ARCHNID**  
I was getting a tour of the base  
It was all very interesting  
But half of it I couldn't understand  
Then I saw the weird spider lady  
She gave me the creeps  
So I did what my mom told me to do, "If something starts to scare you, make fun of it."  
I made faces at the crazy Archnid  
Until Bumbebee caught me  
My face has never turned so red

**#14 STOP PRETENDING TO SLEEP WHEN OPTIMUS SPEAKS**  
What?  
The way he talks is so BORING!  
I'm not kidding when I say if the way he talks was a font, it would be speech  
So I, kinda made fun of him behind his back  
It was all cool until he caught me  
He asked me what I was doing  
"…mocking you..."  
Very awkward  
And the lecture I got afterward...

**#15 NO ARGUING ABOUT YOUR GUARDIAN**  
The Decepticons attacked me for the fifth time  
So the 'bots thought it was high time I got a guardian  
I, of course, was disgusted at the thought  
I mean, why would _I_, of all people, need a guardian?  
Okay...maybe there are a LOT of reasons  
You'll never guess who they assigned to me as a guardian  
SMOKESCREEN  
The rookie  
Why did I have to get stuck with the rookie?  
Bulkhead: Because you ARE a rookie  
Me: Zp-zp-zpt-tp!  
Anyway, me and him are not exactly the best of pals  
Smokescreen, green means go, red means stop, and yellow means slow  
They do not all mean go 200 miles above the speed limit!

**#16 REMAIN INCONSPICOUS ABOUT THE AUTOBOTS**  
Smokescreen picked me up from school  
Although I had a bone to pick with him  
But he was parked  
With no one inside  
So, imagine a girl yelling at a turned off, parked car with no one inside like it was a human being  
Weird, right?  
Exactly  
Which is why I got many weird looks  
And when one person asked me what I was doing, my only response was:  
"Uh..."  
Smokescreen laughing at me when we got back to base did NOT help

**#17 NO MAKING FACES BEHIND RATCHET'S BACK WHILE HE'S LECTURING**  
Doc-bot was lecturing the other kids about no playing basketball inside  
I kept making faces behind his back  
But remained normal when he turned around  
I even got away with it  
Until Ratchet checked the cameras  
Then _I_ was the one getting the lecture

**#18 CALLING CERTAIN VAIN MECHS UGLY IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH**  
I was captured by the Decepticons  
And I was bored  
The 'cons shoulda fled while they had the chance  
But they didn't  
So I had to entertain myself  
I told Knock out—who was guarding my cell (as if I had anywhere to go)—that he was ugly  
Chaos ensued  
He very nearly got me with that energon prod

**#19 NO RIDING STARSCREAM'S SCOOTER**  
JUST as the Autobots were about to rescue me from the Decepticons (I was captured as metioned above), guess who showed up  
Starscream!  
I didn't even know WHY Starscream captured me!  
Probably to annoy the Autobots  
Anyways, Starscream had me captured in his "secret evil lair" as he liked to call it  
Ol' Screamer had given me nothing to do  
He just kept yelling at me to be quiet  
Even when I WAS quiet!  
So I decided to start snooping  
You'll never guess what I found  
An awesome scooter!  
So of course I had to try it out!  
And of course Starscream had to chase me around, yelling at me to get off it  
Well excuse me for taking an oppurtunity when I see one!  
Wait...  
Why did Starscream even HAVE that scooter?  
o.O

**#20 NO MESSING WITH STASIS CUFFS**  
The Autobots had raided an old Decepticon ship and found these things the 'bots called:  
Stasis cuffs  
I call them a good time  
I kept annoying Ratchet with questions about them  
I also kept poking them  
Ratchet eventually threatened to put me in them  
I dared him too, since they were, like, WAY bigger than my tiny little wrists  
But Optimus then came in  
So I never found out if Ratchet would have  
I kept messing around with them  
Curiosity killed the cat  
Or in this case, cuffs cuddled the kid  
Since most human beings (or any other beings for that matter) would be confused about my previous sentence, I will explain:  
Somehow...  
Someway...  
The stasis cuffs retracted and my body got caught in the middle  
So I was cuffed  
Lemme tell ya, stasis cuffs aren't the easiest to get out of  
Especialy when the person who is getting you out *coughRatchetcough* is complaining every other second

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**Phew! Done! Review pwease! And if you have any ideas please send them in (just please no slash or custard abuse!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**#21 ALWAYS REMAIN CALM WHEN THERE IS A BOMB ON YOUR BACK**  
Weird rule, right?  
Well, that's because living with the Autobots is anything but normal  
I was in battle, sniping Vehicons  
Unfortunately, somebody spotted me  
And he lured me out into the open  
Crafty Dreadwing, how did he know I liked chocolate?  
You don't think it has anything to do with my "I Love Chocolate" t-shirt, do you?  
Anyway, Dreadwing lured me out and got me right where he wanted me  
And he planted a bomb on my back  
Without me knowing  
Somehow  
I'm not exactly sure HOW, but he DID do it  
Anywhooziles, I noticed the bomb on my back when Dreadwing pressed that button that looks supsciously like a stick of gum  
So I freaked out  
Who wouldn't, if they had a bomb stuck on their back?  
I screamed and ran around in circles for a few seconds before it flew off me and accidently blew up on...  
Bulkhead...  
Sorry, Bulkie .

**#22 NO REPEATEDLY ASKING A QUESTION**  
Ratchet was working on something  
So of COURSE I had to annoy him  
I kept asking him, "Hey, Ratchet, hey, Ratchet, hey, Ratchet, hey, Ratchet,"  
He ignored me for a while  
But after 35 minutes, he lost it  
"WHAT?!"  
I gave him an annoying smile and said, "Hi."  
The medic nearly killed me  
I'm just glad Arcee was there to stop him

**#23 JUST COPY OVER ANY VIDEOS OF THE AUTOBOTS**  
Jack, Raf, Miko and I were redoing any videos that showed the Autobots (or Decepticons, but that was rare because the cameras were usually broken after the encounter)  
We came across this one video  
It had Arcee scolding me for rushing into battle  
Then it showed me coming back with my AWESOME comeback  
I was reluctant to copy over it  
Jack wasn't the least bit hesitant  
I was going to be a star!  
Jack: Get over it, Cyra, it was never meant to be  
Me: ...joykill...

**#24 NO MAKING YOUR VOICE SOUND ROBOTIC**  
*points to Wheeljack*  
He did it!  
Wheeljack: *points to me* She helped!  
Me: *intense glare*  
Anyway...  
Wheeljack and I made this cool thing where it would synthezize my voice to make it sound all cool and robotic  
I kept annoying people with my voice of awesomeness  
But, I unfortunately fell asleep with it  
And I accidentely swallowed it  
So my voice PERMANTETLY sounded robotic  
Ratchet had to preform surdgery on me  
And I was all like, "No way dude! *runs away* You'll never take me alive!"  
He knocked me out with a wrench  
My voice is back to normal  
I'm not sure whether to weep over loss of my awesome voice or leap for joy because now my voice will stop shorting out when I drink a cup of water

**#25 HUMANS ARE FRIENDS, ****_NOT_**** FOOD**  
I was once again captured by the Decepticons  
Only, I had apparently REALLY annoyed the Insecticons  
So one picked me up and dangled me—hanging upside down by my ankle—over his mouth  
So I told him/her/it/whatever it was, "Please don't eat me!"  
Unfortunately for me, the Insecticons had never though of that before  
So they wanted to give it a try  
Lucky me  
I was gonna become the first human shish-ka-bob  
As if Insecticons weren't scary enough  
Now I have to worry about them wanting to eat me  
Anyway, right before I was consumed by the mutant bug, Smokescreen groundbridged onto the Nemisis  
He shot at the Insecticon, who in turn, dropped me  
Before I became a human pancake, Smokescreen caught me  
He must have been watching "Finding Nemo" or something before, because right before he left, Ol' Smokie said, "Humans are friends, NOT food!"  
My guardian might actually be kinda cool  
I said MIGHT

**#26 STARSCREAM DOES NOT WEAR HIGH HEELS**  
Take a look at Screamer's pedes  
If those aren't Cybertronian high heels, I don't know what are  
Excuse me for calling it like I see it!  
Anyway, I was on the battlefield  
I was trying to agitate Starscream  
For part of plan the 'bots were working on  
So I yelled, "That the best ya got, Screamer?"  
Insert him yelling about how he'd kill me only in more colorful and explicit detail  
"Well come and get me! Although I doubt you can, your high heels might slow ya down!"  
Let's just say the plan worked a little TOO well  
For a guy on high heels, he can chase me pretty fast

**#27 NO YELLING "THIS. IS. SPARTA!"**  
Ratchet was complaining about the "inferior technology"  
Yeah right  
He was just made because he forgot his password  
Doc-bot finally complained, "This is madness!"  
So I, being I, of course had to reply, "Madness? THIS. IS. SPARTA!"  
Ratchet was not amused  
Nor were the neighbors that I had woken up  
Whoops

**#28 GUARDIANS ARE "SUPPOSED" TO PROTECT YOU**  
There was this HUGE thunderstorm  
And even though I'm not usually scared of thunderstorms, they're a lot more terrifying in the dark  
You guessed it, the base's electricity had gone out  
So I was alone  
With thunder rumbling and lightning flashing  
I don't want to say I was scared but, well, I was scared  
So I went hunting around base for a flashlight  
And, bumped into Smokescreen  
No, literally  
I accidently rammed into his leg  
He nearly took a step (which would have been a step too many for me) but I hissed at him, "Don't step on me!"  
Once he had established exactly where I was, he picked me up and asked what I was doing  
I snipped out a sarcastic answer before yelling that I was looking for the doggone flashlight because the doggone storm was scaring the doggone living daylights out of me  
Thunder rumbled which made us both jump  
Smokescreen suggested that maybe I could stay with him for a little while since I was scared  
I casually agreed  
While casually sitting with each other we casually conversed  
I casually conversed how I was sometimes scared of getting up in the morning because that might be the day the Decepticons killed me  
Smokescreen promised me that he would never let that happen and held me closer to his chest  
Or whatever it is Cybertronians have  
Yeah, yeah, we had a D'aaaaaawwwwww moment  
Where's a Kodak when you need one, right?  
Anyway, we-  
Wait  
Why are you looking at me like that?  
You can't be thinking that-  
No, oh no  
No way, no how  
I am NOT beginning to like Smokescreen  
Nuh-uh  
Any glimmer of a hint of a bonding moment was ruined when Ratchet turned the lights back on, though...

**#29 NO RUNNING AROUND HUMMING THE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THEME**  
I decided to be a ninja  
Or a spy  
Haven't decided yet  
So I darted around, singing the MI theme song  
The Autobots ignored me (or I was a better spy/ninja than I thought) since the were used to my weird behavior  
I was a strange sight for sore eyes, though  
Or optics, in my case  
I made it onto the Nemisis and back  
The Decepticons didn't stop me  
No, they were too busy staring at me  
I may have glitched all Decepticons I came in contact with

**#30 NO LEAVING BEAT UP 'BOTS ON THE CURB**  
Smokescreen came back from an intense battle  
So he was, well...  
VERY, VERY BEAT UP!  
He was not eyecandy, I'll tell you that  
Anyway, I had TOTALLY forgotten that trash was supposed to come that day  
And the trash people...accidently picked him up  
Took FOREVER to find him in the dump  
We didn't even find him there, the dump manager just told me that he was redirected to the junkyard  
Smokescreen was on his way to being crushed when I finally got there (takes a while to run five miles)  
Heh heh, sorry Smokie...

* * *

**Author notes: **

**Wheeliefan101: What's this? Could Cyra ****_actually _****be warming up to old Smokie?**

**Cyra: No**

**Wheeliefan101: But-**

**Cyra: No**

**Wheeliefan101: But-**

**Cyra: I SAID NO! *punches author***

**Wheeliefan101: Oh my nose! Again! Agh...**

**Cyra: R&R :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Wheeliefan101: I'm ****_BAAAAAAAAACK! _****And guess what! I believe I can fly! *jumps in air* *falls flat on face* ow...**

**Miko: Ha ha! :D**

**Wheeliefan101: -_-**

**Miko: The flightless seeker here does not own transformers or intend this for offense**

**Wheeliefan101: Seeker? ~_^ Where'd you get that fro-**

**Starscream: Oh my gosh! Another seeker! *picks author up and hugs author***

**Wheeliefan101: Please let me go**

**Starscream: I'm not alone any more!**

**Wheeliefan101: I can't breathe**

**Starscream: I will call you George! And you will be mine. And I will hug you, and pet you, and squeeze you and-**

**Wheeliefan101: LET ME GO BEFORE I SLAP ALL THE SILVER OFF YOUR SORRY HIDE!**

**Starscream: *drops author from 10ft***

**Wheeliefan101: ...I can't feel my ribs...**

**#31 IACON RELICS ARE NOT TOYS**  
I was casually walking towards Smokescreen (he was gonna take me to school)  
He casually opened his door  
I then casually fell right through him  
Smokescreen had apparently used his Iacon relic, the phaseshifter  
It wouldn't have been so bad if there wasn't a huge, pointy rock that I fell face first on  
Smokescreen is a worse human doctor than Ratchet

**#32 NO HUGGING 'BOTS**  
Actually, it's not the YOU hugging the 'bot that's the problem  
It's the 'BOT hugging YOU  
Miko was at detention  
They were watching her like a hawk  
So ol' Bulkie was bored  
And I do mean BORED  
So when I came to base from my shooting practice (with PAINTBALLS), Bulkhead was SO happy to see me  
So he hugged me  
More like crushed me  
I could barely breathe when Bulkie let me go  
So I passed out  
Ratchet freaked out  
He thought I had had a heartattack  
So he tried CPR  
Tip for Ratchet: GO BACK TO MEDICAL SCHOOL!

**#33 EVERY VEHICON'S NAME IS NOT STEVE**  
I was currently evading a Vehicon who had caught me at my house  
And Smokescreen was "busy"  
Busy my foot  
So the Vehicon was chasing me and I was running around, trying to get him riled up enough so that he would lose concentration  
I was all like, "Hey Steve, you here all alone? Where's your Steve friends?"  
And that guy broke down crying  
That's right, he CRIED  
So I tried to calm him down, asking what's wrong  
He then told me the whole shi-bang  
Everybody thought his name was Steve—which it wasn't  
They kept calling all the Vehicons "Steve"  
It was hurtful that no one thought they were different  
Turns out Steve was Starscream's sciencetist partner  
The Vehicon's name was Dennis  
Dennis and I now meet at 6:30 every Saturday  
I'm trying to get him to join the Autobots  
Join us, Dennis!  
You're too cool for the Decepticons!

**#34 YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND CYBERTRONIAN**  
Ratchet was doing...something...that happened to involve Cybertronian  
And me, being bored, tried to understand what he was doing  
I tried making sense of the strange writing  
Major headache!

**#35 NO CALLING SOUNDWAVE A VULCAN**  
Oh come on!  
They're so much alike  
Emotionless, boring, mindless...  
Um, where were we?  
Oh yeah  
Anyway, while on the battlefield, I called Soundwave a Vulcan  
Next thing I know, I'm in the air  
SW's tentacle thingies had me  
And old Wave held a gun up to my head so the A-bots had to surrender, unless they wanted me to die (Ratchet was all for it...meanie...)  
Heh heh, sorry, guys...

**#36 NO CHOOSING RANDOM GROUND BRIDGE COORDINATES ANS THROWING ITEMS IN**  
Now, you may be saying, weren't you supposed to NOT touch the ground bridge?  
Yeah, well, Ratchet happened to be away at a battle, so...  
You can imagine  
Anywho, I kept putting in random coordinates and throwing stuff out of my random bag at it  
Unfortunately, I chose the coordinates Ratchet was at  
...and threw some swiss cheese at Megatron  
Using my genius mind, I punched in random coordinates and hightailed it to that place as fast I could  
PS, I'm still hiding!

**#37 DON'T RUN AROUND BASE IN BARE FEET**  
Miko stole my shoes as a prank (although secretly I think Arcee was in on it...)  
And my shoes just happened to be sandals  
So I had to chase Miko around base, demanding she tell me where my shoes were  
She, of course, just laughed at me  
Unfortunately, I kept stepping on very hurtful items  
Such as crowbars  
And Ratchet's doo-hickeys  
Oh, and things that I don't WANT to know what they are  
By the end of the day, my blisters had blisters on their blisters  
Yeesh, Autobots  
You're place is worse than a lego minefield!

**#38 DON'T REDO VIDEOS WITH ME DANCING**  
RAF, JACK AND MIKO  
Oh, and Wheeljack  
Grrrrrrr :/  
We were going over videos  
It was all going fine  
Until all the bots were gathered around Raf's computer  
...and laughing  
Not wanting to be left out on the fun, I went over there  
AND SAW MYSELF DANCING!  
I was SURE I had been alone when I did that!  
I, of course, screamed and tried to delete them as fast as I could  
Wheeljack, of course, took the computer in his car mode, and drove all around the world  
With me behind him  
Screaming all the way  
I eventually collapsed from exhaustion somewhere between Timbuktu and Kabara  
Meanies

**#39 BOARD GAMES ARE FUN, EXPLOSIONS ARE ****_MORE_**** FUN**  
The bots were all on a mission  
Which left us kids with Ratchet  
Oh, and Arcee  
But they were called away as back-up  
So they left us  
With board games  
Lemme tell ya, board games are BOARing  
Ha, ha  
I made a pun with board and boring and-  
Yeah, you get it  
Anyway, we decided board games weren't for us  
Well, _I_ did  
Everyone else was involved in a game of Parcheesy  
I walked out of base  
...with a load of dynamite  
And fireworks  
When the bots came back, they found a slightly charred me with some large scorch marks on the ground  
I was put in time out...

**#40 NO CALLING SMOKESCREEN SMOKIE BEAR**  
Smoke and I were trading insults  
Friendly insults this time, oddly enough  
He had come up with really good one (which I don't not care to mention)  
I was stumped  
He laughed and walked away  
Which is when I went desperate  
"Oh yeah?! Well only YOU can prevent forest fires, Smokie Bear!"  
He froze  
Then slowly turned around  
Gave me this super creepy stare then...  
His left optic twitched  
After that, chaos broke loose  
It was all really a blur, but I just remembered him chasing me in the Apex Armour with the spark extractor

**Wheeliefan101: *On med-bay* *whispering* Thank you to all the people who reviewed! I promise I'll get to all your suggestions as soon as I can! But Ratchet here is holding me hostage in this-**

**Ratchet: 101! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RESTING! AND YOU BETTER NOT BE TALKING TO ANYONE!**

**Wheeliefan101: -_- Until we meet again...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Omgosh...how many of you thought I was dead? D=**

**Cyra: *slowly raises hand***

**Wheeliefan101: *glares***

**Cyra: What? A girl can dream, can't she?**

**Wheeliefan101: Whatevs...anyway, thank you to all the peeps who reviewed, suggested and viewed. You guys rock! ;D**

**Cyra: Ahem.**

**Wheeliefan101: Yes?**

**Cyra: Aren't you forgetting something?**

**Wheeliefan101: ...nope**

**Cyra: The disclaimer!**

**Wheeliefan101: What about it?**

**Cyra: *facepalm* DISCLAIM! YOU!**

**Wheeliefan101: I didn't forget. I just didn't want to do it ;)**

**Cyra: Why are you so difficult?!**

**Wheeliefan101: ~That's what girls do!~ X)**

**Cyra: IMMA GIRL TOO!**

**Wheeliefan101: Lol**

**Cyra: Ug...the demented writer don't own transformers none, or intend this for offense...**

**Wheeliefan101: *on random horse* ONWARD, MY NOBLE UNICORN!**

**Horse: o.O**

* * *

**#41 No non-transformers should try transforming**  
Oh  
Yeah  
Right  
Like you haven't tried this before  
I was drinking a M&M Blizzard when Bulkhead came in with Miko  
Miko got out and transformed  
Then Miko asked, "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if humans could transform?"  
She was joking, of course  
One of the most fatal jokes she has ever made  
...well, fatal for me  
Anyway, one day, Smokie drove me home frompw school and all the bots were in the same room  
Perfect timing for my presentation  
"Hey, look everybody! I can transform!"  
I then proceeded to get on the ground antry to do some mutant form of a handstand and a curl-up  
It was all fine until I heard a crack  
Scratch that  
I heard MULTIPLE cracks  
Needless to say, I wound up under Ratchet's mother-hen care for a day or two  
If I could just get my hands on a t-cog...

**#42 Always wear both shoes**  
We were out in battle  
My gun was all out of ammo ),:  
Personally, I blame Ratchet for not letting me pack grenades  
Apparently, I'm not "mature enough" to handle grenades  
What about Wheeljack?!  
He stuck his tongue out at me!  
And HE'S allowed to have grenades!  
Totally not fair! *pout*  
...wait, what were we doing again?  
Oh yeah!  
Anyway, my ammo was all out and I was kind of in a middle of an eat-or-be-eaten battle  
Not literally (remember, humans are friends, NOT food)  
As you might've guessed, I was more than a little nervous  
More like a lot nervous  
And when Starscream came at me...  
I just...lost it  
And by lost it I mean my shoe  
Yup  
I threw my shoe at Starscream  
While yelling, "STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU OVERSIZED ELEPHANT!"  
I'm not really sure where the elephant thing came from either  
Maybe because he's silver or something...?  
Anyway, Screamy boy was not too happy with me and chased me  
Across the desert with sticks and stones  
Into a briar patch  
With one bare foot  
Then I tripped and rolled down that hill  
Which caused me to break my leg  
Can you guess which one it was?  
My good foot  
So, while I was in a cast, I had to use my blistered foot to get around  
Smokie had quite a time teasing me about it...

**#43 Do not troll cons**  
They will troll you back  
EVERY  
SINGLE  
TIME  
One time, I sent the Decepticons a decoded message  
The worst part of it?  
I just randomly pushed buttons so it at least took 'em a few good hours to crack it  
And when they finally decoded, it...  
Well, here was the message:  
LOL, D-cons, you just wasted hours in your life for this message  
Then I had a picture of a troll face  
But revenge packs a punch  
You know what they did?!  
They hacked my computer!  
And made it play Justin Biber songs at full volume!  
I officially hate those guys...  
But that wasn't all  
I decided to get MY revenge  
So I sent Soundwave a message from my friend's computer  
Which was going to be destroyed right after I used it because it was so old  
Perfect plan so that I wouldn't get caught!  
Unfortunately, it was also slower than A GRANDPA SLOTH!  
But it was worth it  
...or so I thought...  
Soundwave's message?  
Slenderman called, he wants his personality back  
Soundwave's response?  
Made me a Facebook account  
Posted EVERYTHING even moderately embarassing about me  
...somebody put me out of my misery... XC

**#44 No imitating an Insecticons sound**  
Jack, Miko and Raf thought it was hilarious...  
Arcee rolled her eyes but gave a small grin...  
Bee and Bulk thought it was funny...  
Optimus gave me his teeny smile...  
Even RATCHET smiled!  
...on the inside  
But whenever I got out on the battlefield and tried to mock them...  
They all started to follow me  
And they had this weird look in their eye  
Even after Archnid ordered them to leave, they wouldn't quit bugging me  
THE FRAGGING INSECTS FOLLOWED ME TO BASE!  
Ratchet made them sit outside :I  
He then educated me, that the sound I was making, was the Insecticons _MATING_ call  
D8

**#45 No calling Knock Out knock off**  
He tried to slice me up into itty bitty little Cyra pieces...  
He would've succeeded, too, if I hadn't thrown my shake at him!  
I liked that shake...  
He was my best friend ):  
May you rest in peace, cholocate milkshake from McDonalds with nuts...

**#46 Never leave the base without telling the Autobots where you're going (Autobotgirl2234)**  
OH  
MY  
MINTS  
They're worse than my mom when it comes to knowing where I am!  
And even IF Dad weren't in the army, and hadn't told Mom about how one day I sneaked around on the military base, accidently finding the Autobots, she WOULD have found out!  
That women should work for the FBI!  
Anyway, I had to go off base to pick something up from Jasper Nevada's store (I called it Jasper Nevada's store because I live in Denver, Colorado :])  
When I came back, I kid you not, sirens went off and Ratchet practically pinned me to the ground  
After he demanded where the **% & ** had I been, I babbled, "I went the store for toliet paper!"  
Yeah  
That's why I went  
The human bathroom was all out...  
The bots freaked out, thinking I had been captured  
But then they scolded me  
IT WAS JUST TOILET PAPER!

**#47 Never sneak up on an Autobot (Autobotgirl2234)**  
I randomly got the urge to be a spy/secret agent again  
Ratchet was my unfortunate target  
I tip-toed up to him REALLY quiet...  
Then aimed my BB gun at him and yelled, "SNEAK ATTACK!"  
The next sounds were a  
*ping!*  
"**%#$ **!"  
And a  
*crash!*  
"**& %#**!"  
*Fzzzz*  
The ping was my BB hitting Ratchet  
The curse was Ratchet's thoughts on my surprise  
The crash was him dropping it  
The other curse was him realizing he had dropped it  
And the fzzz was it melting through the floor  
Uh...whoops...  
My bad ^_^"

**#48 No randomly bleeping out what someone is saying**  
But if you spend as much time around Ratchet as I do, you'll WANT a bleeper  
Anyway, I picked one up at the store and then waited for someone to say something inappropriate  
I waited and I waited  
And when I got tired of that, I waited even more  
But not a single cuss word could be heard  
So, I took matters into my own hands  
Here was how Optimus' latest speech went...  
"My fellow ***BLEEP***s. The Decepticons have been ***BLEEP***ing the ***BLEEP*** humans. If we do not ***BLEEP*** them, then I ***BLEEP*** they will ***BLEEP*** our ***BLEEP* *BLEEP***s"  
Optimus gave me a look but I wasn't finished  
Everytime Bumblebee spoke ONE word, I bleeped it  
I think that guy hates me now...  
But the REAL trouble began when I bleeped Arcee's conversation  
"Hey, ***BLEEP***, wanna go ***BLEEP*** in the ***BLEEP BLEEP*** so we'll be ready to ***BLEEP*** some ***BLEEP***?"  
Poor Bulkhead  
All he could do was stare  
"What? Was it something I ***BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-**"  
Insert a lot more "EEEE"s  
But then Arcee stopped talking and figured out something was wrong  
When she found me...  
Whoo, that femme has temper problems!

**#49 Do not mention to Arcee she has temper problems**  
Human or bot  
Unarmed or armed  
Friend or foe  
She WILL attempt to stick one of her blades down your throat  
I learned that the hard way...

**#50 Do not ask for help with school from the Decepticons**  
I was running for Student Council  
I didn't DARE ask the Autobots for help  
Cuz then I'd have to avoid Hatchet  
And he'd get all pouty that I avoided him  
No thank you  
So, while in battle, I went to the only other available source:  
Megatron!  
Here's how it went...  
"Megatron, what should I use as my student council slogan?"  
"*slices blade through Bulkhead's arm (not injuring him TOO badly, just enough to get him to leave him alone) Peace through TYRANNY!"  
"Nah. Too long. What else ya got?"  
He didn't like his slogan being dissed  
Megzy almost sliced MY arm off

* * *

**Wheeliefan101: Phew! Done! Well, now you know a little more about Cyra's background! Yayz! ^_^**

**Cyra: You are so strange...**

**Wheeliefan101: *looks at story* Omgosh...**

**Cyra: Is the craziness of the story finally getting through to you?**

**Wheeliefan101: Censored cuss words and funny violence! ^_^**

**Cyra: Oh brother...Please review and tell this maniac she's insane**

**Wheeliefan101: And send unicorns! =D**


	6. )

**The little weirdo you all love is back!**

**And did you notice the awesome new cover this story has? :3 It's supposed to say "We Decepticons face our darkest hour...Wheeliefan101 made more rules!" XD**

**Thanks to the lovely Notramjet97 this cover was made possibly as well as contributions from viewers like you**

**Wow...I watch too much PBSkids ._. Oh well**

**Onward! (I wonder where Cyra is...?)**

* * *

**#51 "I don't wanna" is not a good excuse for why you're not doing your assigned chore**  
Yes, we have assigned chores  
And it stinks!  
Stinks like four day old mayonaise!  
My chore is mopping the base  
That mop is evil  
I just need more proof...  
Er, anyway, I was feeling really lazy and didn't feel like slaving myself away with that stupid mop  
Unfortunately, Ratchet noticed  
It went something like this:  
Ratchet: Cyra, why aren't you mopping?  
Me: I don't wanna  
Insert long lecture  
And then insert me doing my chore  
Ratchet's lectures are the worst -_-

**#52 The "Macarena" is hereby banned**  
While Optimus was saying a big, boring, LONG speech, music suddenly came on...  
"~EEEY, MACERENA!~"  
Me, Bumblebee, Smokescreen, the other humans and (surprisingly) Bulkhead joined in on dancing  
LOL! XD  
Unfortunately, Optimus gave us "the look"  
You know the one...  
He looks at you  
Stares at you  
It's not an angry look, it's just...disapproving  
IT MAKES ME FEEL SO DARN GUILTY!  
Afterwards, my radio was taken away (much to the delight of Ratchet...hater...)

**#53 The President can't be your hologram**  
As many places as this'll allow you into...no...  
Just no  
It was all fun and games for Smokie and me at first, getting to go wherever we want, do whatever we want...  
But then, people started NEEDING the president  
Like, trying to drag him away to confrences  
And other boring political stuff  
Which meant we had race away to the outskirts of town  
That lead us to...  
THE HATERS  
[Insert suspenseful horror music]  
You know, the people who hate the prez.  
There's always some...  
They started getting...agressive...  
SERIOUSLY, WHO THROWS TOAST?!  
Needless to say, Ratch and Prime were less than happy when we got back  
We tried to convince them we had learned our lesson! (I will forever be scared of toast, now...)  
But no  
That wasn't good enough for them  
[Insert us doing 20 more chores]  
*sigh*

**#54 Do not repeatedly yell "Glitch!"**  
I just recently found something out about Transformers...  
GLITCHING!  
Of course, I discovered it on accident  
I was fighting the Cons, but then my stomach kept growling  
Finally, I could take the hunger no more and sat on a log, eating my lunch  
Starscream found me and launched into this whole speech about how "pitiful" and "vulnerable" I was  
He picked me, put me close to his face, and was all like, "Aren't you scared, human?"  
"PUT ME DOWN, SCREAMIE, SO I CAN EAT MY SAMMICH!"  
I literally did say that  
Screamie was trying to be all scary, okay?  
So when I yelled at him to let me finish eating, he...couldn't take it  
He glitched  
Of course, I didn't learn that till later  
I thouht I had killed him  
So I was victory dancing, when Arcee came along and told me he just glitched  
She ruined my victory ):  
I threw my sammich at her  
'Cee didn't like that too much and she began trying to kill ME instead of the DECEPTICONS  
Yeesh!  
Anyway, after that day, I used these "glitches" to my advantage  
While Ratchet was working on something, every five seconds I would loudly yell "GLITCH!"  
Made him jump everytime XD  
When he yelled at me to stop, I asked, "Why? Are you gonna...GLITCH?!"  
I was then sent home early ._.

**#55 No sending funny error messages to Ratchet's computer**  
E.g: Error  
Pete and repeat were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off. Who was left?  
(Options:) Repeat, repeat, repeat  
(Error: it repeats X3)  
Oh, and:  
Rorre  
Si retupmoc ruoy sdrawkcab  
(Options:) Xif, !?tahw, talking like Yoda, you are! (?sdrawrof gniklat uoy woh)  
I never knew Ratchet could cuss so much...  
Or that he would figure out so fast it was me...

**#56 When Ratchet says "You're next", do not scream in terror**  
MIKO!  
Seriously, that chick watches way too many horror movies!  
Gosh, what a wim-  
"Cyra..._you're next_"  
"AAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

**#57 Do not use that previously rule against me**  
In fact, let's say it never happened  
Yeah...  
That rule above you does not exist  
It is only a figment of your imagination... O_O

**#58 No, putting on a fake moustache will not disguise you**  
I really thought I had fooled them  
They didn't interact with me for over an hour!  
But then...  
I later learned...  
They were just ignoring me  
That hurts, guys T.T  
Right in the heart

**#59 In the event Miko starts spreading rumors about the very SMALL amount of time Smokescreen and I have been away, please duct tape her mouth shut for me**  
Yes, Smokescreen and I DID disappear for a very SHORT time  
But nothing happened!  
At least nothing that Miko said...  
But since my duct tape privelages have been revoked, I must ask others to duct tape her for me...

**#60 I did not kiss Smokescreen**  
Even if Miko may have a photo  
That she can prove wasn't photoshopped  
It still proves nothing  
And even if I_ did_ kiss Smokescreen (which I didn't) it was a very small kiss  
But I didn't kiss him so you don't have to worry about that  
P.S. I was never here

* * *

**...well...**

**I think we all know now why Cyra disappeared...**

**;)**

**What's going on? Answer in your reviews!~ **


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